Choosing a School and Friends for your Child

 5. Choosing a School:

The father should strive to carefully choose a good school for his child, thus selecting the one that is of the finest quality and not necessarily the one that is closest to him. He should also ask those involved in the field of teaching and educating, who are sincere and honest, as to which of the schools is the best.

School has a deep impact on a student since it is there that he spends a quarter of his day – which is in fact the best time of the day. In the school he learns and is educated, and that is the place where he finds friends and companions.

So based on this, the father must keep a close connection with the school by going to visit it, staying in contact with it by phone and asking about the state of his son or daughter. He should be concerned with asking about his child’s character, behavior and friends before asking about his grades.

He should also follow up on his child’s educational development and studies, and check his notes and homework and be aware of the remarks the teacher makes to his child’s work so that he may correct it.

So your concern with your child’s studies and your solid relationship with his school, his teachers, his schoolwork, and his levels of education is a good that will assist in his well-being and learning, by the will of Allaah.

6. Choosing a Friend:

From the things in which there is no doubt is that a friend has a profound effect on an individual – whether positive or negative. Sufficient to clarify this point is the statement of the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “The example of the righteous companion and the evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith.” [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said: “A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend.” [Reported by Abu Dawood]

Therefore, O father, it is incumbent upon you to look for a good friend and a sincere companion for your child before he chooses one on his own, for he may choose the wrong ones and then grow attached to them, after which it will be hard for you to separate them.

There are many accounts, too numerous to be recorded, in which children were raised in good environments and in conservative households but ended up mixing with bad companions on the pretext that they were going on a trip or an outing with them or using the excuse that they wanted to play with them or have fun with them or study with them. And the end result of this was that they had a negative effect on them.

In these days it is extremely difficult for a father to raise his child in exclusion of friends. Trials and temptations constantly surround the youth from all directions.

Bad friends can either be people who are engulfed in their desires or in misconceptions. If they are those who are given into whims and desires, they will lead your child towards mischief and a digression from good character. As for those who follow misconceptions, they will lead your child towards innovations and opposing the guidance of the pious predecessors (Salaf as-Saalih). Perhaps he may even fall into the acts of declaring Muslims disbelievers and innovators. This particularly applies to the members of those methodologies that are foreign to this country (i.e. Saudi Arabia), as has occurred to some of our youth, may Allaah guide them and return them back to the truth.

In conclusion, I ask Allaah to rectify for all of us our intentions and offspring, and that He forgive our parents, granting them the best of rewards on our behalf. I ask Allaah to assist us in being dutiful to them during their lives as well as after their deaths.

I also ask Allaah to aid us in raising our children upon the Qur’aan and the Sunnah and to make them righteous offspring and an enjoyment to our eyes in this life by, through their uprightness, and after death, through their righteous deeds.

May the peace and praises of Allaah be upon our prophet Muhammad.

From the publication: "Raising Children in Light of the Qur'aan and Sunnah" by 'AbdusSalaam Al-Sulaymaan. The book was intorduced and commended by Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan.

source: islamhouse

The Rights of children in Islam

 

The rights of children are
not guaranteed by the
actions of their parents,
their communities, or
even their governments.
God Himself guarantees
children’s rights.
Islam establishes a legal framework and embodies a code
of ethics designed to protect the rights of an individual,
including his or her right to live in a secure society. For
children, security is of the utmost importance. In Islam, the
rights of a child begin even before birth, in fact they begin
before conception.

The Qur’an
and the authentic
traditions of Prophet
Muhammad speak
clearly about the
responsibility that
comes with raising
a child.
It is an obligation upon the believers to raise and care for
children by bringing them up as moral, righteous individuals.
Neglecting this duty could potentially lead a person away
from the path of righteousness and away from God.
“Allah instructs you concerning
your children…”

Caring for and raising
children in the proper
manner is a duty on parents
and it is not always easy. In
fact, God reminds us in the
Qur’an that children may
indeed be a great trial for
their parents.“Your wealth and your children are but a trial...”
(Qur’an 64:15)
The triumphs and tribulations of life are a test and children
are no exception. They can bring great joy but sometimes they
also bring great sadness. God in His infinite wisdom never
leaves an individual alone in the face of life’s trials.
Prophet Muhammad said:
“Every one of your (people) is responsible. And every one is responsible
for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd
of his own family, and he is responsible for them.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

Children are a trust
given to their parents
and parents are to be
held responsible for
this trust on the Day
of Judgement.
Parents are required to feed, clothe, house, nourish and sustain
their children, and provide them with security and education.
Parents too are responsible for the religious training and
spiritual guidance of their children. The heart of a child must
be filled with faith, peace and tranquillity.
A child’s mind must be entertained with proper guidance,
knowledge and wisdom, a true sense of purpose and moral
and ethical understanding. All of this must be accompanied
with emotional support and encouragement, a feeling of
belonging and being valued.

Seeing the Prophet kissing his grandson, a person named
Alaqr’a Ibn Habis found this behaviour strange and said,
“I have ten children, but I never kissed any of them.”
The Prophet replied,
“The uncompassionate will not be treated mercifully.”
(Bukhari and At-Tirmidhi)
If parents fulfill this responsibility of showing compassion,
they will be free from the consequences of its neglect on the
Day of Judgement. The children will become better citizens
and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this life
and then in the hereafter.
“And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in
faith – We will join with them their descendants, and We will not
deprive them of anything of their deeds…”
(Qur’an 52:21)
Moreover, Prophet Muhammad said:
“Upon death, man’s deeds will stop except for three deeds, namely: a
continuous charitable fund, endowment or goodwill; knowledge left
for people to benefit from;and a pious righteous and God-fearing child
who continuously prays to Allah, for the souls of his parents.”
(Muslim)
Such a statement reflects the
value of proper child-rearing.
It has an everlasting effect,
even after death.